today was fucking stupid but I just ordered these circle lenses:


and I’m in the process of buying some falsies to go with it

buying stuff always makes me feel better, how sad

do not make
out of people.
this will leave you
and sad,
missing arms that
cannot hold
hearts with
shaky foundations.

I think someone just asked to be my sugar daddy

I’m sweating


Woman and Man
Oil on canvas
215.9 x 190.5 cm

next relationship I get into, they better be completely devoted to me to the point where they worship the ground I walk on

I don’t care if that makes me crazy. I probably won’t even love them that much. just as long as it’s me and only me they want. I know people enough to know their minds tend to wander and I think I’m too good to settle for someone who treats me as an option.

then again, it’s exhausting to be angry and resentful.

it might just be the fact that I’m drunk right now but I don’t care anymore.

well thank GOD

well thank GOD

I never let myself get angry because I always thought anger was unnecessary. But right now I’m starting to see that in some cases it’s needed and is the first step in a healing process. I need to be angry and I need to stop looking at people with rose colored glasses. Everyone is a disappointment. In the end while I was busy putting people first they convinced themselves I came second. I’m tired of coming second. I’m tired of my needs not being put first. Im tired of putting everyone’s happiness before my own. No one gives a shit if I’m happy, I might as well should be the only one.